Are you in a Toxic Relationship?

Are you in a Toxic Relationship? 

The word toxic on a black background with a skull and crossbones for the o. The letters are backlit by reverse rainbow neon. Surrounding the word are images of microplastics, and molecular models of various chemicals referenced in the article.

Are you in a toxic relationship? Despite not knowing you, I’m going to boldly answer that inquiry. YES! Yes you are! Here’s a questionnaire to illustrate how I know.

Have you purchased cosmetics from Sally Beauty in the last 6 months?

Have you painted the walls in your home with that perfect color from Sherwin-Williams?

Have you given your pet a treat after visiting Pet Smart?

Have you fed your inner beast with a quick drive-through at Subway?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are in a toxic relationship.

The retailers mentioned above are part of a group of 50 businesses evaluated by Toxic-Free Future. Those retailers received failing grades on the Retailer Report Card. This program scores retailers for their safer chemicals policies. This involves reducing the use of toxic chemicals and plastics to produce and package products, and encouraging safer alternatives. Toxic substances include methylene chloride, PFAs, formaldehyde, parabens, and others. Safer products include vinegar and baking soda for cleaning; glass and ceramic for microwaving, instead of plastic; and benzyl alcohol instead of methylene chloride in paint strippers.

Through the Minding the Store program, Toxic Free Future grades retailers on four elements: Corporate Commitment, Transparency, Ban the Bad, and Safer Solutions. Following their evaluation, the results are sent to the individual retailers for review. Retailer responses (if there are any) are included in the final grading. The Retailer Report Card, a compilation of the results and responses, is available for consumer review at: toxicfreefuture.org/retailer-report-card

The 50 retailers on the Report Card represent 160 companies that generate over $4 trillion in annual revenue. That much retail represents a great deal of influence in our purchase options and a large potential for toxic chemicals in those options.

In 2024, 17 of the 50 retailers received scores of F, indicating little to no initiative taken to protect consumers from products or packaging that contain toxic chemicals or plastics. However, 4 popular retailers received A grades. Retailers that scored well were Apple, Sephora, Target and Walmart. B grade achievers include Whole Foods, IKEA, and Ulta Beauty. I thought my retail relationships were in the clear since I generally chose to shop at Target or IKEA; however, to my dismay,some other favorites appeared on the longer F list. Chipotle! Gasp! Nordstroms! No! and Trader Joe’s! Yikes! The outlook became bleaker when I realized that businesses most commonly found in our area, like restaurants and dollar store chains, have the worst grades.

What’s a person to do? As in toxic human relationships, you might seek the help of a counselor. They may lead your journey to a less toxic relationship with the following statement, “There are always options.” So let’s approach these retailers as we would a toxic partner. What are the options?

Option one: Leave the relationship. I know you’re used to that place. I know you don’t like change. I know new relationships are hard. But you can do this! Just ask yourself, “Do I really need this retailer in my life? Can I find an alternative?” Perhaps a different, kinder retailer has what you want. Consider Sephora instead of Sally Beauty. Maybe you can DIY your product and skip the toxic ingredients or packaging. For example, make beeswax wraps instead of using Cling Wrap. Or cook your own burrito instead of buying Chipotle. You may find that you don’t even need a particular item, or more “stuff” in general.

 

Option two: Communication. Connect with those failing retailers and let them know you’re disappointed with their choices. Send a letter or email acknowledging their lack of transparency or initiative in removing toxins from their products and packaging. State the consequences of their poor behavior and the possibility of ending the relationship. Let them know you believe they can do better. If you don’t see improvement or a willingness to engage in communication, inform them that you will terminate the relationship. However, if you see improvement, reward the retailer with a purchase, investment, or words of encouragement. You can find information on retailer’s improvement over the last 8 years on the Retailer Report Card.

You could also communicate with policymakers to garner support for improvements. Let them know you want safe products and nontoxic packaging and that they should support legislation and regulations that further those efforts.

Communicate with newsmakers. Point out bad behavior. Sometimes that’s what it takes for bad actors to recognize their faults, and consumers to recognize the dangers of a toxic relationship with certain retailers.

Option three: Find the helpers. Recruit others to support you in your separation from a toxic relationship. For example, join with helpers to shop elsewhere. Like taking a road trip with your friends to IKEA for less toxic housewares and furniture. Try DIYing with friends & neighbors to create nontoxic bath bombs or shampoo. Even produce and distribute your own substitutes to support others on their nontoxic journeys.

When you find the helpers, consider supporting their efforts to help others. Donate to activist organizations. Purchase homemade, nontoxic products. Shop at retailers who are making an effort to offer less toxic products and packaging.

Option four: Educate yourself. Sources are online. Information can come from others. Learn from educators and speakers. Here are a few recommendations. Online you can learn more from Toxic Free Future (toxicfreefuture.org), Ecology Center Ann Arbor (ecocenter.org), Defend Our Health (defendourhealth.org). You can also do your own research to find smaller retailers that offer less toxic products. Talk to friends and others and see what choices they make to minimize toxins in their lives. Look for events and initiatives at local libraries, colleges, and nature organizations. One such organization is NCEC which supports programs and actions in our area. Some samples of NCEC’s offerings include a recently held discussion group regarding Electric Vehicles and advocating for reduction of Styrofoam use for carry-out meals from local restaurants.

You can end your toxic relationships. Adopt some of the aforementioned options and find a healthier way to be in relationship with retailers and your own shopping habits. I believe in you.

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